So the internet is melting down over this whole Brooklyn Beckham / Victoria Beckham wedding dance thing. Apparently she “hijacked” his first dance and people are blowing it out of proportion.

I’ll be honest: I don’t see the issue.

A mother dancing with her son at his wedding? Publicly loving him? Being a little too enthusiastic in front of a few hundred people and a global audience? That just feels like… baseline mom behavior.

In fact, I can absolutely picture Wifey doing something far more aggressive at Tarantino’s wedding in Lake Como in 2050. Mid-first dance. Live orchestra. Probably a surprise outfit change. Definitely a speech no one approved. All because she’s pathologically obsessed with our son Tarantino (gifted). 

So if this is scandal… we are on track for a full-scale international incident in 2050 when our pride and joy weds. 

What I am most proud of is a young man, who has spread his wings and left the nest of his overbearing billionaire celebrity parents into the loving arms of his multi billion dollar in laws, who made their wealth in the much more dignified field of PE, Private Equity.

Father in Law Profile: Nelson Peltz

After graduating from Wharton, Nelson Peltz began his career in the 1960s by joining and transforming his family's small wholesale food distribution business, A. Peltz & Sons, into a larger frozen foods operation that he grew significantly and took public as Flagstaff Corp. in the early 1970s, building it into a company with hundreds of millions in sales. In the 1980s, he and partner Peter May used leveraged buyouts financed by junk bonds to acquire and expand Triangle Industries into the world's largest packaging company, which they sold profitably to Pechiney for nearly $1 billion in 1988.

Through Triarc Companies in the 1990s and early 2000s, Peltz made high-profile deals like buying Snapple for $300 million in 1997 and selling it for over $1 billion three years later after a successful turnaround. His primary wealth today stems from co-founding Trian Fund Management in 2005, an activist investment firm that takes stakes in undervalued companies, pushes for operational improvements and strategic changes, and generates substantial returns from holdings in firms like Wendy's, Mondelez, and others.

Indiana Wins the National Championship

As we know, I find sports to be generally boring and a little juvenile. That said, I did end up catching the end of the College Football National Championship the other night. Mostly because a group chat of my friends with salary caps would not stop vibrating about what a “nail-biter” it was. I rolled my eyes, assumed someone had torn an ACL, but turned the TV on just in time to watch Indiana’s quarterback dive into the end zone. I’ll admit… that was pretty neat. I’m always happy when the corn fed people from the middle of the country get a win. Everything was very boilerplate until, I stumbled upon Fernando Mendoza’s Linkedin Profile

Although my firm has never extended an offer to a state school graduate, I have done some digging, and apparently Fernando initially was set to attend Yale. After deciding to attend Cal, then completing his career at IU, there is something different about this year’s Heisman trophy winner.

After a brief, but thorough due diligence period, my firm is now preparing an offer to Fernando Mendoza that should easily dissuade him from accepting a paltry offer from the NFL’s Las Vegas Raiders. This is not the first time that I have had to out bid Tom Brady, and although Mark Davis shares a barber with my Golden Retriever, Almalfi, I am confident that Fernando will be joining our 2026 intern class.

Now, full disclosure: I do have some friends who went to IU. Decent enough program. I’ve given a few talks at the Kelley School of Business as a favor. And as we all know, it takes a lot for me to fly to the middle of the country. The only other real reason I’ve ever had to go to Indiana was for a storage facility roll up in Gary. Absolute animals. Those things print.

Back to football. I honestly half-expected to wake up and find out Miami had won on a technicality, a misplaced down, a recount. Instead, the Hoosiers actually pulled it off, capping one of the more improbable runs in college football history (allegedly). 

So, cheers to Indiana. Truly. I hope the players at least got bonus checks from my dear friend, Mark Cuban.

One Of Wifey’s Favorite Designers has Died: Valentino

We found out Valentino died from the news just like the rest of the general public. I found this to be odd because Wifey is one of the brand’s top customers. She owns millions of dollars of Valentino. She’s got archive pieces vintage runway gowns, etc. 

Wifey literally has his personal cell phone number in her phone. So yes, it was a little jarring to learn about his passing via a push notification like a civilian. Anyway, she is wearing black today. Valentino head to toe in honor. 

This Week’s Podcast: Anna Delvey

The recent episode of Johnny Hilbrant's podcast "Due To My Role" (EP 007) features PE Guy interviewing Anna Delvey, focusing on a candid conversation that most interviewers avoid—not dwelling on her past scams but on how she's moved on while the internet and media refuse to let it go.

Subscribe accordingly for substantial founders, comedians, and interesting people on the internet with decent stories and substantial exits.